Due to displacement trauma, caused by many moves & 6 schools by the age of 7, I had come to expect that friendships don't last & vowed as a "new kid on the block",  not to make an effort to break into existing groups, so for me it's especially hard & I have to make intentional efforts that go against what has been my "autopilot" all my life.

Here's my prayer to combat this:

Holy Spirit, I invite You in Your fullness into every place within my heart where there's a fear of vulnerability or there might even be a fear of opening up that door or a fear Lord, of how messy it might be or that I might cry in front of someone.  

Lord, I pray that You would draw to the cross the fears, anxieties & old ways of having to be proper, sophisticated & have it all together. Lord, would You release Your grace in my heart today.

Lord, release Your peace. Release Your perfect love which casts out all fear. Release Your honour which would cast out the shame on this journey. Lord I refuse shame in Jesus Name & I declare shame will not have its way, or keep me glued to my seat & glued to this place of having to look good & sound good.